Initially I altered some spellings within the piece, as when I got the quote I just assumed it would be correct when it wasn't. I also changed the opacity of the background in order to make it less powerful and therefore simplify the appearance slightly.
It was also suggested that I use a lower case typeface to make a more subtle and delicate appearance. I have experiment with quite a few and I don't feel any of them are as successful as the original one I chose. I like the uniform appearance the uppercase style brings so I think I'm going to stick with it.
Another point mentioned during the crit was to look into the repetition of my cloud imagery as it was popular within the group.nI experimented with a few different options but I think it makes the composition look too cluttered and I prefer the more simplistic appearance.
I finally messed around with different opacities, as I thought that rather than repeating the cloud if I made it bolder it would stand out more anyway. I am happy with this last outcome and I think that the amount of development I've gone through has been beneficial.